she hit the nail on the head

My best friend told me I've been getting "weird", now I know she meant it with love. But it still hurt. At that moment, I didn't want to talk about my unhappiness or anything like that, but that comment got to me. I couldn't speak. I didn't know how to answer. I didn't want to answer. The answer is too hard for me to say to her...

I think my dislike of the city makes me think/realize how different we really are and I can't get that thought out of my head. I have a hard time seperating her from the city and the city from her. And the fact that she's loving it and has great love for it- makes me wonder what we have in common anymore. She is so different from me. That may have been a good thing, for a time. But right now I need someone who's LIKE me.


I think I am lost.

Sometimes I think I am lost,
wandering like a riding hood.

Never following the clear path,
because I grow curious along the way.

And find myself talking to strangers,
in strange places.

And injesting strange foods and spirits,
in strange fashion.

That is when I am lost.
But I can feel lost even when at home.

Wondering how the very people with whom I live,
are really a few strangers I met along the way.

Chance occurences that made all the difference,
that I have always assumed meant nothing.

Feelings taken for granted,
friendships lost so long, they are simply strangers.

When nothing can be lost,
being lost means everything.

"Excuse me sir, do you know where THIS is?"
"I can tell you it's not where you are going."

"But how will I get there?"
"You shall arrive when you find your way."

I must stick to the path and not dally,
I am expected to be somewhere by sometime.

If only I could remember how to get there,
Now I think I am lost.

In the woods, where the trees are skyscrapers,
the flowers are painted on, and the sources of sound are unending.

I keep looking but there are many things to see,
It's not easy to find the way.

So, I regret to inform you, I've gotten lost along the path,
I am sorry but will be very glad when I do find it again.

Then the sooner I will be home,
and the sooner I will know myself."