I haven't been so public about things recently. Have you noticed? But I could update abit. I am doing alright. On a plateau... but not one that will change to a low or a high in a matter of hours. I am working in the city (the smaller one so I will not capitilize). I am working at a 'safe' restaurant. And playing my life really slow and at times lame. But I have needed it. This job has opened things up for me... my housesitting gigs... the ablility to try living in the city before actually having to. You know me, I find balancing my dreams on the same wire as daily life boggling. And right now I am entertaining the idea that I may just want to stay mobile/unattached. I'd like to hook up more housesitting gigs. So I can save and take off. But I begin to feel the itch of taking off and not knowing what awaits, but jumping of the ledge, so to speak. And I wonder if I'd be strong enough to do it again, not the travel part, but quitting the job. Or taking off the time to travel. I could go to Mexico/Belize in two weeks. Couldn't I. Could I find a travel partner? I don't need a boyfriend, but a travel partner. A partner in life. I need companionship again. Remember when I said all this before, this time it isn't in a deperately desiring way. But I want companionship. It is comforting to have a shared environment. Soon come, Jah will bring love to my life. And I wish I could chill with M and J... don't apologize to me for that. They treat ms like a baby. So I have to ask myself, do I act like one? No. Hell no. I don't. I am real with them. I need to feel the real from their hearts. And not their heads that tell them... play real. act natural. pretend to be honest. I will learn the hard way, I will open to them so they open to me. I willbe humble and not think twice of what I say or write. I love you. I love her. I love him, I really do. I am falling of the fine wire, I am stumbling, not in life but in this ost. So I will put the keys to rest. Peace. Love. Livity.