another attempt at public poetry...gotta love it.

These systematic notches on my waistline
Are created by every baker of couture fashion
Whose sizes will only fit me if I don’t eat that
key lime pie.

---
But why
Why die just to be thin
Try and squeeze in
to "fit in"
Only to quit every quick and fading fast fad diet.

Why ignore the comfort
the connection
the confection
so the size fits just right, is

really the only question when I ask myself
why are these pants so snug
why don’t I have a man to lean in and hug
If only I’d enjoy myself and indulge in
My life
My body
My spirit
My soul
And realize the right size is just this
I am me
And these are my hips
My thighs
And my voluptuous ass
Love it!

No matter the number of bakers baking the precise
Small dress size is nice
“Oh, dessert?”
I’ll have to think twice
…and pass.

Because these systematic notches in my waistline
Are so untrue for me
so unnatural
I have to work twice as hard to NOT get it
Because I love it.
I love that creamy tarty key lime pie
Especially when I’m told I shouldn’t.
Especially when I believe, “Oh I couldn’t”
That very delectable key lime pie is nothing but sweet to me.

Believe me I’ve tried it.
Every yoyo, jelly craig, no thanks I’ll watch my own weight diet.
And here I am
Same rosy cheeked, big boned, childbearing, curvy booty chick
It’s the same shit

Gotta love it!

What? Is everyone too busy to post?

*************

None of my friends have blogged anything recently. And it's driving me berserk. I need to hear a little voice from the otherside. I guess I am just really waiting for two people to write something for me to read. I have two friends that truly are at a professional-author level. I may not be, due to my run-ons and overuse of cliches. I am always elated when I see there is a new post. Some are poems, and some are life stories, and some are baseball scores. They are always entertaining and eloquent.

I used to write single thoughts down then press "Return", and change where I was going with a thought frequently- usually mid typing. I think I have come to organize my writing a litlle better than I have in the past. You may not agree.

I still love writing and I still love you. But blog goddamnit!

Woe was me, but I'm better now.

I'm sitting here bored. Last night was a selfmade sad night. I felt overwhelmed, underappreciated, unhappy, and unsure. My emotions got the best of me. But sometimes you just need one night of wallowing in your misery before it's another beautiful sunny day to turn it all around, which it happens to be today.

I should go on a bike ride, I haven't since R'nRiver.

Salud to this sunny day. Adios amigo.

magic dream

I used to have a semi-recurring dream where I could jump into the air and fly. Just a little jump to start then I'd swim breaststroke and get higher and higher.

I could swim/fly over cities. And land on rooftops, jump off and fly again.

Sometimes just to fly for fun.
Sometimes I was being chased and had to escape.

---

I feel like this year I have aged so much.
More in these past months than in years.
I mean in the scheme of things.
In the grand picture.
And not "aged" in a good way.

...the year 2005. It is already August, my year of 23 is already half over. I have six more months to be this glorified/"lucky" age. And all I can think is that I've got to DO something before its over. If there has ever been a time that I have felt my life is in limbo- it is now. I just don't know what I am going to do- go to school, take a trip (*), meet a boy, etc. If I go to school when, where. If I want to travel I have to keep working, There is so much more to life than work. And that is all I am doing. It's about breaks, and time spent wisely with family and friends. Quality relationships and not financial friendships. I am in limbo between DOing something and NOT DOing SOMEthing. I want those quality moments, and am unable to have them while I work, but am unable to have them if I don't work. Visiting up north and friends. That is partly why I moved home, I missed them. I wanted to see more of them, and I still don't spend as much time as i wish I could with those people I love.

But I hope that SOMEthing, is the right thing. I love life. And I love alot of people.

I wish I could dream up the power to freeze time.