is it okay to have silent feelings???

And is it justifiable to keep these silent feelings silent, even if it concerns the most important person in your life?

I had a thought that was irrational and really just silly for me to even feel, I didn't tell want to tell a soul. But I wrote it in my journal...not this online/for all to see one, but my real journal, the only private place I think. I share my room with my best friend and the apartment with my sister. So it is literally the ONLY place/thing I have ultimate privacy in, and am able to write out my thoughts down without fear.
The other day I came home to find my journal misplaced...definately not where I left it. I kind of panicked because the thought of someone reading my journal freaked me out. Not for any other reason than the trust I have of someone else to value my privacy. Even if from the outside you aren't sure what it is, don't you realize what you are doing after the first sentence?

Anyhow, my thoughts were exposed.
Not publically, that probably would have been better. Instead, the very person I didn't want to read it, did.

Now, what I had written wasn't just a thought I could have said to my best friend. It was a feeling I've had for awhile, but one that was really absurd and one that I barely understood myself and one I definately didn't want to tell her. This was a feeling I'd have liked to stay silent in my mind. I guess I was the moron who wrote it down on paper, but she was the moron who read my journal. And now there is a whole trust issue. Before, I trusted her completely and vice versa.

The sensitive subject came up at dinner, and while I avoided admitting my silent feeling to her, she tried to bring up what she read in a roundabout way, telling me "I don't need to lie to her", and she knows there is something else that is bothering me. At this point, the subject of my entry is the least of my concern. I had a feeling she knew it the moment I saw my journal moved. But the fact of the matter is, that she read my journal...my private journal...and that REALLY PISSES ME OFF. For that, I wish I could withhold the truth from her, but she already knows my silent thought.

I've had this happen once in middle school. I had written a note, someone found it, and showed it to the person it concerned. Lots of drama ensued. I should have learned my lesson the first time.

Is this ever possible to get away with?

It's not even like I'm always writing stuff about her in my journal. Literally I have only written about her twice, in my six years of keeping a journal. That is an excellent track record. She just happened across my most recent entry.

Right now I think she is a bitch.