la luna in prose...

The way the pregnant moon hung like a babe swaddled in luminescence reminded me of future truths unspoken.
Visions of lies were alive that night and my soul could not face them. I prayed honesty would prevail and falsehoods would vanish like breath in thin air as I looked into the mirror at what had always been right in front of me.

I am suspicious.
And insecure.
And too blase too be upset with the other for making me feel so helpless.
I need to be more responsible.
And I haven't given my life everything I've got.
Nor my love.
MY love.
My very own self-awarded rightly due love.

I am here tonight curled up in my bed and somewhat retardedly believing a man can change all that in me. And sheepishly understanding that it is only up to me.

We dream to believe everything we are not taught. That windows can sometimes have doors in them, and unicorns often wear boots.

What have I come to learn in this passing of a year's "time"?

What question am I still asking?


What am I willing to hear?


I don't know yet. But I do know that I certainly don't need or want to apologize for asking questions, whether they be philosophical ones or emotional ones regarding my relationship with WS. I am a woman who chooses to ask questions regardless of how "silly" they might sound to the non-thinker. I am curious... and caring... in that curiosity- and it should be perfectly perfect in the long run. I am not just seeking an instant response nor do I want to create messiness. I don't know how I will react when I hear the answer, but witholding thoughts like this is allowing the fear of the outcome to hold me back. There is no harm in loving somebody because you want to love. and want to love them. There is the chance they won't reciprocate, but that is the chance I am willing to take a leap for!

So dive!
Dive into Medusa's exotica, where thoughts twirl and wheels whirl every second of every day of every lifetime @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@<3