I never felt

3/29/06

I never felt like opening up…

You know I tried
To unfold my life

I struggled through my days
My nights
I’d cry and fight
I’d barely breathe

I was pushing boulders
Too large to move
Not sure it was even rock

I was choking back tears
Too deep to let flow/drop
Back down to earth

But then I slowed my pace
And grew patience like a seed
I began accepting the passing days
With sun rays
And revel the ones with rain

And now I am open
To what is next
To being opened
To being broken

I once said more than words will do
But I’ve discovered “more than words”
Will find their way to crush

I worry where I’d be
Without speaking my peace/piece of mind
And so I do in face of fear itself
To that I am blind

I’ve seen the love
The hate
Displayed across the faces
Of my watch

I had convinced myself
It would never be mine to touch
Waiting for my creases to be smoothed
Before I allowed the rush

My head was aching
My heart was breaking
The earth was shaking
Right under my feet

And here you are
And I am here
Just listen for the ticking of my watch
Telling us the right time is life

I’ve never seen the kind of things that I do with you
I don’t mean the things we see
I mean the things we do

I love your complexity
The hex of your wine
[Drives me to ecstasy]
You are the dream of my exorcism
My vision
Of truth
Separate my lips from closure
Kiss me with your mind

So I’ll open up.

My hand is open
My heart is open
My mind is open

Let us swing our arms round and round
And give silence no more place or time.