Trapped in Paradise?!!

No better way or place to be snowed in for the holiday than in Portland with good friends. I began this journey with the aimless desire to explore the Pacific Northwest... and have learned that aimless wandering often leads to beautiful discoveries. I am not sad to be missing Christmas with my immediate family. I am eager to experience a new Christmas with folks that have always been a bit bohemian in lifestyle and choices. This is the creative flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants that I have yearned for, and only sometimes do I question my validity in this community. My hippieness that I have cultivated for so many years, is tested. Am I able to bring together that community I seek? I am searching for the truth and the proof that I am viable and important enough to reside in the nest of good people. I have always claimed a seperateness from my family, and now that I am physically apart from the family I force myself to be different from, I want them to know how grateful I am to have them and be a part of them. This is a White Christmas like I have never known, and it is frigid, only because I create this reality. I have been needing to open up my heart, forgetting my insecurities, and blossom wherever I lay my head. I am hoping for a splendidly warm, enchantingly quiet, Christmas. I will miss my parent's cooking though. And as soon as I can leave Portland I will. Seattle is an amazing city, and San Francisco, too small, Portland, a wee bit too quiet. I have retreated, and am now eager for that connection. I should call my old love... GG.